Clothes Shopping
by Yami no Ryu
Summary: Jack goes through Daniel’s closet and decides the archeologist’s fashion sense is woefully lacking. Slash JD, oneshot


Jack looked disdainfully at the closet. How pitiful. It was full of large, plaid shirts, jeans...and two sets of i tweed/i No wonder he was kicked out of the academic community. He had the fashion sense of an ant.

"DANIEL!"

Daniel wandered in, dressed in overlarge grey sweats and boxers, a mug of coffee held securely in one long-fingered hand. "Yeah?"

"What is this?" Jack demanded.

"My closet?" Daniel replied, tone implying the obviousness of this fact.

"What's in it?"

"My clothes...?"

"Daniel," Jack said slowly, as if talking to a particularly dense child, "that is a disaster."

Daniel blinked at him. "My wardrobe is perfectly functional."

"Functional? It's barely even wear-in-public-able."

Daniel rolled his eyes. "I got most of it at bargain prices. What do you expect?"

"But tweed?" Jack pressed. Daniel shrugged. "That's it. I'm calling Carter."

Jack met his second-in-command at the mall, dragging a Daniel so reluctant he may as well have been kicking and screaming. Every so often he'd glare at the back of Jack's head, but usually the hand that Jack kept firmly clasped around his elbow was on the receiving end of his sultry anger.

He spotted the blonde first, but with two extra passengers. "Carter!"

Samantha turned, as did her companions: Janet Fraiser and her adopted daughter Cassandra.

"Sir!" Carter called back. Jack hurried his step, tugging Daniel along behind him. Now his furious gaze was focused on Major Carter and Doctor Fraiser.

"Doc. How nice to see you," Jack greeted.

"Sam called me and invited me along. Cassie wouldn't let me leave until I agreed to take her too," Janet explained. Cassandra smiled brilliantly.

"Don't worry, Uncle Daniel, we'll get you hip and chic in no time," she said, flashing two-thumbs-up.

"And why does that not make me feel any better?" Daniel muttered sullenly.

"You had tweed," Jack said, as if that explained it all. The three women nodded empathetically, so it seemed it did.

"I hope you threw it out," Carter said.

"Dumped it," Jack asserted.

"I paid a lot of money for those!" Daniel cried. Jack leveled a i look /i at him. He added under his breath, "Comparatively."

Carter and Fraiser looked at each other, and then at Daniel. Two identical grins split their faces, and Daniel gulped.

Then he was whirled away and thrust into the world of fashion, trendy clothes and selective shopping.

"Sam, I got a shirt that looks just as good for half the price," Daniel argued vehemently.

"Try it on," the woman insisted. With another frustrated sigh, he took the pullover into the changing room. "And nothing under!"

A couple moments later, Daniel came out, old shirt in hand with the cream pullover stretched across his torso. Carter eyed him up and down, and nodded. "That's definitely one for the 'buy' pile."

"Sam--"

"No buts about this one, Daniel."

"SAM!" The excited squeal rang through the shop and a blonde-haired ball hurtled at her. "Make him try this on!"

Sam looked at the shirt, a deep, deep blue silky affair that buttoned up to the collar. "Try it on," she said to Daniel, handing him the shirt.

Exasperatedly, Daniel began, "Sam--"

"Go!"

A glare, and he disappeared into the changing room.

Jack watched in amusement, loving the fashion show playing out before his eyes. Daniel was gorgeous. And other bits were beginning to take notice as well. Bits that couldn't afford to take notice just yet.

"He's very handsome, isn't he?" said a voice by his elbow. Jack looked down, surprised. Cassie grinned and winked at him, before slipping off to continue her search.

Daniel came back out of the dressing room in white chinos they'd bought earlier and the blue button-up shirt. His eyes looked like blue-tinted ice. "Well?" he asked impatiently. He wasn't going to be dragged around all creation to be gawked at.

"We're buying it," Sam declared when she found her voice.

Daniel rolled his eyes, "Sam, we can't buy everything we come across--"

"Don't argue," Jack interrupted. Daniel glanced at him.

"I don't have the money to buy all of this," the archeologist informed him.

"I'll buy it for you, then. Consider it an early birthday present," Jack retorted. Daniel frowned, and turned to change. "Don't."

Daniel stopped, and looked over his shoulder at Jack. The Colonel fought down a blush. He cleared his throat, "They can scan the tag from your sleeve. Keep it on."

With a shrug, Daniel said, "As long as we can get out of here."

Jack looked to Sam, and she looked to Janet, who walked up beside her. "I think we've mined this vein pretty thoroughly. Janet?"

"Let's buy the clothes, then," Janet agreed.

The next stop was a suit store. Since they'd rid themselves of the tweed sets that screamed "librarian", "professor" and "dateless and desperate" alternately, they decided they needed to get Daniel some top-quality suits.

They bought a black one and a grey one. Janet warned Daniel not to wear either unless he was going to some really fancy, really important event, or if he had absolutely nothing else to wear. Daniel, of course, objected vehemently. Jack took one look at the woman salivating at the cash register and firmly told Daniel to shut it and listen to the good doctor. Daniel pouted and then disappeared back into the changing room.

When he came out, again dressed in the dark blue button-up and white chinos, they whisked him away to the food court.

Daniel and Jack arrived back at Daniel's apartment past 9 that evening. Both were toting bags of clothes, though Jack didn't seem to mind. Daniel, on the other hand, looked positively murderous. First, Jack went through his closet, threw out perfectly functional suits and half his wardrobe along with, and then dragged him shopping. With three women. As if his taste was not to be trusted.

He was still in the blue silk button-up and chinos, completely oblivious to the effect the outfit had on Jack. To get his mind off of the wonderfully alluring cut of Daniel's shoulders, Jack set the bags on the couch and strode into Daniel's kitchen. Daniel flicked him an irritated glance, picked up the bags Jack had dropped, and continued to his room. Jack rifled through the cabinets, looking for some liquor to celebrate Daniel's new hip-ness. Not that Daniel would appreciate the gesture, but everyone else certainly would.

Daniel emerged from his room, no less annoyed, and sat down at the kitchen table. He didn't offer the location of the alcohol Jack i knew /i he kept in here somewhere. He waited until Jack found it, served it, and set it down in front of him before shifting his glare from the tabletop to Jack.

"Why were you going through my closet, anyway?" Daniel asked.

"Curious," Jack replied, unruffled.

"About what?" Daniel questioned.

"I wanted to see if all your clothes were as awful as those you wore to work," Jack answered, sipping his drink. He didn't voice his personal opinion that Daniel could wear anything and still be drop-dead gorgeous, because then Daniel would ask why they'd gone shopping—if he didn't deck Jack first.

"My wardrobe was i fine /i ," Daniel insisted again.

"Well, now it's better," Jack stated. Daniel huffed. A few drinks later, both were far more relaxed, and had moved out to the living room.

"Those suites were expensive," Daniel complained, not even trying to censure the whining tone.

"They're worth the money. You're gorgeous in them," Jack said. It was out before he could reconsider. Daniel blushed faintly.

"You really think so?"

Deciding he could blame it on the alcohol later, Jack answered seriously, "Drop-dead gorgeous."

Daniel tossed back the rest of his glass, and looked at Jack pensively, if somewhat hazily. He muttered something that sounded vaguely like 'what the hell', and suddenly, he was straddling Jack and kissing him. It was a chaste press of the lips, over before Jack had the chance to react.

Daniel moved off of Jack's lap almost immediately, flushed in embarrassment and anxiety. He kept his head down, so he didn't see Jack's wide, stunned eyes. He shuffled toward his room, tensing when Jack caught his wrist in a vise grip.

"Do it again," Jack whispered, voice deep and passion-roughened. Daniel raised uncertain, fearful eyes to Jack's. Jack pleaded, "Please."

He pulled Daniel back onto him, lips latching onto Daniel's, and soon lost all hesitancy as Daniel straddled Jack again to get the best angle for the quickly deepening kiss. Daniel's hands ran under Jack's shirt, feather-light touches on his torso. When one went to undo the fastenings of his pants, Jack gasped and grabbed Daniel's hand to stop him.

"Stop, wait," he stuttered, almost beyond coherent thought between the alcohol and the arousal. Daniel began to pull away, gaze confused and hurt. Before he could move far, Jack brought the captured hand up to his mouth, pressing a light kiss into the palm. He explained, "I don't want to do this half-drunk."

The confusion cleared up, and Daniel nodded. "Bed?" he suggested. Jack agreed. They didn't stop touching the way there, and fell into the bed in a tangle of limbs and half-removed clothing. Somehow they made it under the covers, hands still roaming, but less to excite and more to explore. Daniel snuggled into Jack, and the older man wrapped one arm around him.

"In the morning?" Jack whispered.

"In the morning," Daniel confirmed. They were asleep a short time later.


End file.
